On the Edge

I've been sat here, garnering my thoughts as we head in to 2021. Like for most of 2020, the house isn't quiet. I live with quiet people but the pandemic means we all share a closer space. We check in on each other in our rooms. I'm grateful we are safe, together, gathered. But there is a pervading sadness today as we enter an unending Lockdown. This is not what I had envisaged for my children, held back from seeking their independence and learning.

There have of course been joys in finding ourselves together, finding a slower pace of life and filling days with tasks that we seek for ourselves. In the tumble of days I have lost the silence that directed my days pre-Covid 19. Last year I took on the challenge of the life change that the pandemic wrought on us all - I bent and shifted and origamied myself into a new vision of work. One area of life changed, challenges the others and we all morphed around each other. I directed my family and we all took on new roles. Coping through controlling. Life doesn't come with a guidebook, and adulthood has no manual. Being a pandemic parent has left me feeling that I can only lead by example - take time to heal when it all chafes, sleep more, eat the good food we are grateful for. Reaching out and forming a network of brave women around me gave me solace and lifted me. The year went on.